Christmas is fast approaching and with that comes New Year, another day, another year, another fresh start. The fact New Year is a Monday this year is a very pleasing thought. I'm maybe starting a tad early with the New Year themed posts but I need to get something off my chest, truth be told I've needed to do it for a while.
LESSON SIXTEEN OF CHRISTMAS 2K17:
Over it. Over you.
I'm not the most confident of people, I never have been and I probably never will be, truth is sometimes you're only quiet around the people you don't feel like being loud around. Sometimes it bothers me that people pick up on that, sometimes it doesn't. Yes I may not be as loud as the loudest person you know but this doesn't mean it's okay to walk all over me or anyone for that matter. Truth is I'm sick & tired of being messed around. Tired of people using me till something better comes along so they can drop me like I don't even matter. So 2018 is going to be the year of enough is enough, starting now I'm not going to pushed around any longer. If I don't like something I'm going to say, if I disagree then I'll tell you and if you make me feel about the size of a 5p coin then I most definitely WILL point it out. No I won't be horrible about it because at the end of the day quite frankly I'm more mature than that! Some of us aren't kids anymore.
I get in life you think you're found 'something' yet the longer you have it you start to realise maybe it wasn't what you wanted to begin with. Life has a habit of throwing up bumps in the roads but in reality these bumps were always going to arise anyway. Sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes you realise that you deserve better than that, than this. Someday you may realise they don't deserve you. The penny will finally drop, for me that penny has dropped today. I can't take it no more and honestly I won't take it no more. If that's how you feel then fine because I'm done with playing games. If games are what you want to play then you go play them, good luck I hope the next person is more willing to take part. Playing games is a fake reality, get in touch when reality hits you in the face please.
I aware that this post wasn't my usual bubbly self, well sometimes I'm not on top form, sometimes I have days where things really get to me like everyone. Today was that day. Today was when you really got to me. I'm done. I've played along as long as I could but now I'm out. It's taken me this long to realise. If I'm honest it's liberating & refreshing to finally say that. For so long I've hid all of this inside of me. You made me realise something today. You taught me to not build my walls so high which was great but was it really worthwhile knocking them down? Did you get what you wanted? I know I didn't.
In the words of David Bowie:
"I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring"
Saying all of this makes me feel as though a gigantic weight has been lifted- I'm looking forward to moving on. Onwards and upwards well hopefully...
Relatable?
See you all tomorrow!
Festive & slightly disheartened kisses.
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Image credit: Pinterest.
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