FASHION. BEAUTY. LIFESTYLE. an indecisive girl's life

Tuesday, 27 August 2019

"Well that is the job of an intern?!"

The fashion world is massively competitive, bitchy and bloody tough to crack, but no matter what the horror stories I've heard in the past, I was and still am massively determined to give it bloody everything I have. It took years to figure out my niche and a degree to hold it all in place, for me finding out I had a month's long internship with a brand I've not only followed for years but who I personally love aesthetic wise- I thought that everything was falling into place.

With less than a week left, and September dawning I kinda thought you know what I'll share my experience. An experience it was indeed.

For me I live in what feels like the middle of nowhere, okay so maybe technically it's not quite as remote as I make out but fashion wise, it might as well be a tiny field on a remote island, I always knew relocating would be a necessity as much as a desire. Manchester or London (or NYC one day) realistically they're the places I'll have to go. For this specific internship London came calling, an actual dream come true; my room is bliss, I love the bright buzz of the city and having everything I thought I could possibly ever need a few tube stops away, it really did feel perfect! Whilst the daily tube commute isn't the most luxurious, deep down I didn't mind it because I thought this was it, my very first crack into industry barely two weeks after graduation.

Looking back at the past 3 going on 4 weeks is a weird mix of emotions, part of me feels proud- living in London knowing very few people is daunting for anyone and it's something I never truly thought I'd do especially not at the age of 22. And the other part of me feels like a very, very tiny fish in a very big pond. I knew industry was always going to be a big step from university, everyone within the industry relies on tasks being completed promptly within an extremely, fast paced environment- it's tough. Mentally damn it was tough. Whilst I am incredibly grateful for the experience I honestly don't think I've ever felt as inadequate as I have recently. It had me questioning everything; did I do the right degree, will I ever make it in this cut throat industry and most importantly I questioned my own creative abilities. I felt like nothing and no one surrounded by people who were somebody's going places. I am not slating the company I interned for or any of the people I've met along the way but it was an eye opening experience, more than I ever expected it to be. I know the phrase everyone has to start somewhere but I just didn't expect this.

Obviously the job role intern comes with crappy tasks making you question why you're even there in the first place, with only my tube expenses paid for, I am not going to lie financially interning is tough alone. Working for free with a degree qualification is quite demoralising, I am a strong believer that over 20 years old you should be paid at least the minimum wage for any internship, it's free labour and quite frankly it's not fair. Fair enough from a business perspective I get hiring interns and paying them could be risky but realistically how do companies expect people to support themselves and gain highly requested industry experience without a wage? I know I knew all of this when I accepted the internship, I choose & kinda agreed to the not being paid contract but when you're doing the same long hours and gruelling tasks it kinda makes you & your work feel worthless.

I don't hate my internship, but I really don't love it like I imagined I would. I still like the company, the people were friendly most of the time with a few exceptions, but besides the feeling of being inadequate, I just found it boring. Like I even feel bad typing that right now- should I even say that? But it's true. Whilst I love Pinterest, personally I don't want to be sat scrolling more 7 hours or more a day on it, creating styling boards that don't even really get consider- it just felt like I was wasting my time for my creative eye to not even be given a chance. Speaking of time, there just wasn't enough to fill my day, I am one of those people who likes to be busy and whilst I did have a few days where I didn't really stop especially when it came to organising shoot products. Generally it felt like I was watching the clock- counting down the hours till I could leave but surely thats not right I'm in the industry I want my career in I shouldn't be clock watching or counting the days till the weekend.

I was hired as a photography intern, and whilst I knew there was going to be parts that were going to be dull, I just didn't expect the entire 3 weeks to feel like that. Shoot days granted they go quicker, but I couldn't help but feel like a spare part, surrounded by creative people doing creative things and what was I doing, the boring typical tea/coffee duties, hoovering, steaming and organising lunch. I mean that's not what I signed up for. Fair enough I know you have to start from the bottom but it felt pointless and underwhelming, my favourite one liner from my experience has been "well that is the job of an intern" but why should it be. Yes this was a learning experience, and yes that is the purpose of interning and yes I have realised I want the exact opposite to what I just interned in. I am creative, I want to be creative, physically making creative things. I want to be the one designing cool graphics or taking cool shots on shoot, creating something that's mine not something that I have to give credit to someone else for. I've met a lot of self-righteous people lately who seem to think because I didn't go to a London uni or because I did a more general fashion covered degree that I'm less of a creative, my creative opinion didn't count for anything and I hated that.

Yes I am grateful for the experience, but I will be finishing this coming Thursday with the knowledge that I definitely don't want to intern again in what I just have done. I will be looking for more hands on creative experiences from now on so I guess it's taught me something. I don't think interning will get any easier, networking is key but I wasn't myself here, I dreaded my alarm going off in the morning not because of the 6am start but the purpose didn't make it worthwhile, I felt like I faded into the background, whilst I wanted the contacts I didn't feel worthy enough to have them. I was paranoid that my work wasn't good enough and honestly their is nothing more kick in the teeth than feeling undervalued.

I am aware that I need more industry experience, and whilst this experience has made me feel about 10cm tall I will be putting myself out there to more creative experiences, maybe I'll just put the empathsis more on being the creative next time. 


Monday, 8 July 2019

Lost somewhere in-between

Well it's been sometime again hasn't it? Almost two months ago since I wrote my last blog post where I distinctly remember saying I'll be more consistent and two months later not much more has changed. *Awards self the prize for commitment lol*

I'm not going to do another life update because I do so many of those on here that I think it's actually hard to live in the present. But I will say that I'm very proud to have finished uni & all the tears, stress and long days were well worth it because I'll be graduating with a first class honours degree. I can't even tell you how that felt, like everyone else I'd wanted and worked for it for so long that the first thing I actually did when I found out was sit down and cry, believe me all the emotions came at once and I couldn't stop shaking through shock. I know I'd had a lot of people tell me before the results were released that they thought I'd get that but truth was I never actually thought I would do it. And two weeks today I'll officially graduate NTU, which is unreal and very bittersweet- I am ready to move on but uni really was some of the best years of my life.

So the question is what do i do now? 

Moved back home, went back to my old holiday job and signed a more permanent contract for the meanwhile. Grateful to have it but also can't help but count the hours till the end of my shifts or the days till I get a day off. I guess leaving uni is weird, everyone must feel it, you go from living the some of the best 3/4 years of your life, being sociable 24/7, partying almost non-stop and having complete independence, to moving back home. Where my life is pretty much going to work, going to the gym and watching love island. That's my life now and as happy as I am to have some downtime I really can't help but feel lost somewhere in-between. I mean I know what career I want to do, I have dreams about living in London/ New York and I certainly know I will be very motivated to get there. But what about the present, the here and now, the today? 

I just feel so weird at the minute I've gone from working a ridiculous amount of hours in the day on coursework and stressing non-stop to just nothing, almost a sense of emptiness. Suddenly it's harder to make plans when uni friends live several hours away and taking a flight would be cheaper than getting a train. I know we'll stay in touch but it's just sad not being able to spontaneously say lets go for a drink. My plan always was to move back home, work a mundane job that allows me to save to figure out my next move. But truth is it's been 3 weeks and already feels like a lifetime, I'm tired of aggy people and not doing something I'm passionate about. In all honestly it's nice to be home but in the back of my mind I'm thinking how long will it be home for, I spent 3 years in limbo between uni accommodation and home to the point that home stop feeling completely home a while ago. It's weird because people I know have already started their careers and I know I'm not ready for that, as much as I need to find something to be passionate about again I also need a break otherwise I'll burnout before I'm 30. I think what I've discovered about myself is that I'm very much that person who can't switch off, if I'm working on a project then my mind constantly ticks over thinking about it. So not having something to plan, work on is hard for me. In the meantime, I've found a slight saviour in the gym, for the first time in as long as I can remember I am eating well (I still have my sweet tooth don't worry) working out and making time to better myself physically. I don't really have an end goal, but the feeling of a good workout is one I can't beat even if I do feel like death in the making of it.

For me travel plans have always been a back thought, thorough-out school/ uni I was so intensely focused on academics that I didn't really get the chance to travel places I wanted to go. But deep down I always kinda hoped I'd find someone to travel with. But friends have their own plans which is totally fine and for me that just didn't happen. I am so torn with what to do. I know I have to have a break. Like most people I really do need it but really I don't want a break to be completely unbeneficial, although it is time to switch off I still need to discover something new from it to make it worthwhile in my own head if that makes sense to you. So thats what brought me back to travelling. I have been incredibly lucky to have gone abroad a lot growing up but seeing somewhere from a 5 star hotel is not quite the same as seeing it with your life in your backpack for 6 months. Although I hope to always be able to travel with work in the future I'm never going to have this much time and flexibility ever again and I know the second I start a new project and work full-time in the career I want I will not ever probably switch off to the point I can now. For my parents the thought of me, a girl travelling alone in what can be an unsafe world is a worry and I'd be lying if I said it didn't completely worry me too but just because you don't have others to go with shouldn't be the thing that stops you going. Sometimes you have to be selfish to the point of doing something because you wanted to do it, that way you'll only have mistakes not regrets. It's not set in stone yet, I'm probably 70/30 to going travelling, currently in the process of researching places and exploring travel options with companies, I'm meeting with like an advisor person tomorrow to speak in person about it so who knows if I'll take the leap.

What I do know is that I need to get out of this lost in-between mood and just do it. Not committing forever but committing long enough to make a change. Thats what I'll do. 


Thursday, 23 May 2019

diss over n out

Woweeeeee what a day it has been. Today the 20th May 2019 or a few days ago as you're reading this is the day I submitted my dissertation and concluded 50% of my degree. Oh my days where has the past three years gone. It feels like only yesterday I was finishing my Art Foundation and now I've nearly completed an actual degree like okay someone pass me the pornstar martini already. Education is almost over and as of the 31st May I will be a free girl. Unbelievably scary but at the same time I can't help but get excited. 

I have loved uni, never thought I would but honestly it has been the best three years of my life; the laughs, the friends and the memories. There has been ups and downs and a whole lot of stress along the way but it has been more worthwhile then I'll ever know. As a final year and soon to be graduate going into the real world, it all seems a very daunting place, everywhere I go I get the same question 'so whats your plans for after uni' and if I'm honest every time I answer something completely different. Travelling one minute, freelance the next, committing to an actual 9-5 job might be slightly more believable but who knows. The truth is I know I'm well and truly done with education, the second I get an email about a MA course I'm like nope no thank you into the trash you go. As much as I love uni I do feel ready to leave, it's not that I haven't enjoy almost every day here (because I have) but I just feel ready to move onto something new, discover a new place,  do crazy creative things. Even as a child I was always crazily ambitious, whilst friends wanted to achieve more normal jobs never really leaving where they've grown up, I just knew that wasn't for me. I want to see the world, I want to work hard but also play hard and I want to achieve things I'm proud of, that's not me being cocky that's just me saying you only get one shot at life as cliche as that sounds but damn I'm gonna try my hardest to actually get somewhere. 

My parents gave me everything I could have ever needed growing up, they never left me wanting anything, some might say that spoilt others might disagree, my parents taught me that if i want something so badly then I have to work for it because then you'll appreciate it more knowing you did that. But my parents have never been happy in their jobs, I wouldn't say they were ever completely unhappy but it didn't make them want to get out of bed in the morning lets put it like that. For me that has always been my motivation, I don't want to look back in 50 years time and think oh I wish I'd have tried that or travelled there or taken that opportunity because those kind of things don't come around twice. Sometimes you've just got to go with your gut. I was talking to someone I worked with once and he said he was just waiting around for the dream job, but that might never come around and you might end up staying somewhere that just puts the coin into your bank constantly waiting around- is that really what you want to achieve? Whilst the dream job probably is out there, chances of stumbling upon it are about as likely as winning the lottery- never say never but never can be a long time to wait. I guess what I'm saying is the dream job might not happen but you can make sure you get somewhere bloody close. Sometimes things that were never planned actually actually turn out to be a 1000 times better anyway.

For the past year I have done a topic about a 'spontaneous heart' and whilst I was figuring out ways to reach my consumer it also got me thinking. Maybe I should be more spontaneous, celebrate the opportunities. Share the things your proud of, celebrate what you've achieved, go to new places despite not knowing where on earth you might end up and just live in the moment. Do it for you. In a weird way I feel like my life has been on pause for the past three years, whilst I have learnt so much, met so many amazing crazy people (hopefully friends for life) and pushed myself beyond everything I'd ever known before. In someway I feel I haven't completely gone with the flow because it felt like I had a responsibility to do what I came for, get a degree. But you leave with so much more. Your twenties should be reckless, change what you don't like, work hard, travel but also remember to breathe and take it all in. You thirties and beyond should follow suit, there is no set age to do things before, so just go with it and see where you end up. So I guess the next time someone asks me about future plans I'm not going to be afraid to turn around and admit to not having plans, I want to enjoy the tomorrow but maybe work on today first. Maybe for girl who dreams of living in a city where 'dreams are made', saving for a plane ticket is the answer. 


Saturday, 11 May 2019

Well it's been one hell of a journey

Bet you actually can't believe you're reading this, I mean I actually can't believe I'm writing this. Not even joking blogger had to check who I was when I opened it just now and if that's not a sign of where the hell have you been then I don't know what is. My last post was August and SO much has changed since then it's crazy! I started my final year of uni (sobs loudly), picked a dissertation topic (finally), started working on a Live Levi's brief (ultimate dream), laughed a lot, cried a lot (I'll get into it), it's well and truly been a whirlwind. For months I haven't felt like sitting down to write and now I finally have it's just made me realise what a rollercoaster journey the last 10 month have been. So if you're willing to give this girl who has severely missed blogging another shot then read on to discover where exactly I've been (be warned tissues are probably going to be needed).

Okay so where to start. 

I guess lets go back to September. Oh my days that feels like a lifetime ago, honestly I started third year a different person to who I am now (also feel like I've aged about 10 years). September came around quicker than I could say dessert menu, suddenly it was time to pick a dissertation topic that 3 months earlier I had no idea about. Somehow this completely single probably most un-destined girl to be in a relationship girl you know did her dissertation on dating and wowwwwww I have loved every second of it. I may not be experienced in physical dating but I've had my fair share of online dating dead ends believe me. And I guess for a girl who grew up dreaming of a Disney fantasy the idea that love and romance does actually still exist kinda had me hooked so I just ran with it and my litle baby for the last year, Squeeze was born. 

October brought new job opportunities that my 15 year old self would have fainted with shock over. Yes a became a Topshop girl or basically somewhere close. I was employed by the fashion company Daisy Street to supervise the stocking of their collection within my local Topshop whilst working hours on the Topshop floor as well. It was a bittersweet opportunity, for years I wanted to be a Topshop girl and when it happened it made me wonder why. It also made this girl realise she wanted a career rather than just a job, not that there's anything wrong with working in a shop it just made me realise I needed something more than that. Truth was I found the whole thing boring, I was counting the seconds of every shift and it just wasn't what I thought it would be. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity from both Daisy Street and Topshop because it taught me two very important things. One not everything you dreamed of works out the way you wanted and two everything happens for a reason. For me I think I needed this job to understand how badly I want to work in fashion but to understand life is what you make it, if you want something so bad then it's only you who can change the situation you are in. 

We'll skip a few months

January omg wow this was the month where everything came together but also everything fell apart, I have truly never experienced such a low in my life as I did in January. January 9th 2019 was one of the worst days of my life, I woke up in such severe pain that lead to an emergency hospital admission and a very long, tearful waiting game. I had to have an emergency operation to remove something that had grown surprisingly big causing me to spend a week in hospital and left me feeling utterly broken. It caused me to cancel my NYC trip, miss weeks of university and basically turned me into someone who would cry on the daily. Honestly even writing this now makes me feel emotional because exactly 5 months ago to the day I was in one of the lowest points of my life and today I have been given the all clear. I know people suffer with worst and I can't even believe how strong those people are because they are honestly such a huge inspiration. I was tested beyond everything I'd possibly known, got tested for some very scary things that I never expect to be tested for at the age of 21 and honestly it gave me the biggest reality check of my life. I am unbelievably grateful to all my family and friends who supported me through it all- honestly that's what got me through it. But I am also proud of myself because through all of that I kept going, there were moments when I really didn't think I could but it wasn't until someone said to me 'that you only get the things in life that you are able to deal with' and that really stuck with me. Only 5 weeks after it happened I was presenting to Levis despite my parents and doctors telling me to take it easy. But I learnt a lot about myself, I learnt I was so much stronger than I ever knew, and my motivations got so much clearer. I was more determined to prove everyone wrong, I wasn't going to fall behind at uni because deep down doing coursework kept my sanity. I still get sad but it made me realise to not take things for granted as cliche as that sounds because I generally never thought I'd have been waking up one morning in the worst pain of my life completely out of the blue. But I did. It happened so appreciate the today. 

Moving on

February saw my work feature on Graduate Fashion Week's instagram page and I will never forget the smile that gave me. It came at one of my lowest times and reminded me that hard work does pay off so keep going because you've got this. 

April brought me confidence. I presented in a second year lecture- who, what even am I?  Doing this made me not even recognise myself, in first year this would have been my worst nightmare yet third year me did that like what. Confidence also came in the form of a job interview in a dream city that made life after university feel not far away at all. 

May 7th this girl finished her dissertation and sent it to the printers. It was both a massive relief and kinda surreal to know that something I've loved, stressed, hated and cried over for months is nearly over. It also means my degree is coming to a close, I don't even know where the last 3 years have gone like how am I in my final term of final year. But here I am. Still laughing, somewhat more tired, more emotional and hopefully more wiser I got here 3 years later. It's not over yet I still have sketchbooks to complete, a printed dissertation to collect and hand in plus a very scary but exciting brief for Levi's to finish and present. It's gonna be a hectic fews weeks indeed.

But if the last 10 months have taught me anything it's that there will be bumps in the road and nothing is plain sailing but only the things worth doing are some of the hardest, most emotional to achieve. The celebrations will be needed at the end trust me. So I guess this is me and the last 10 months in brief- it's been one hell of a journey. If you'd have told me this time last year that all of this crazy stuff would happen then I probably would never have believed you. So stick around because this girl & her slightly forgotten but still loved blog is back in town and you're not going to want to miss a thing. 



Sunday, 5 August 2018

You decide

All too often I feel we question if it's worth it, if they're worth it and perhaps most importantly if we're worth it. Summer so far hasn't been a massively exciting one but it has changed me more than I think I ever imagined it could... and I have more than a few people to thank for that. 

I guess working this summer has made me realise that I don't need to doubt myself anymore than I already do, I don't need to make myself feel more insecure than I already do because at the end of the day I don't have any real reason to make myself feel like that. If you want to talk to me than great, if you don't then that's no loss either because you're never going to a 100% please everyone around you. That's life, you can either try but fail trying to please everyone or you can stop trying so hard and just let people accept that you are you, regardless of what anyone says or thinks is going to change that. 

I saw a really good quote the other day "stop waiting for friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the situation you're in now" that really struck a cord with me. I am a moaner of a lot of things, the weather (I'm typically British), of money (I'm a student) and of the lack of excitement in my life (my life certainly isn't rose tinted). But the truth is lately things have finally started going my way, I got the job that I searched for years for, hopefully if it goes well then I should be covered for every holiday now on and when I graduate uni next summer. I love it- yes I moan about the shifts that sometimes feel days long but seriously deep down I'm happy where I am. Suddenly it doesn't bother me to go up to a complete stranger and ask them if they're okay because I spend my day talking to people. It's actually shocked me how much I enjoy it, I've got to know people lately that without my situation changing I would never have known. It's so weird to think I've known these people for barely no time at all yet I already feel so comfortable around them. I don't feel awkward or have constant paranoia about what they think of me because at the end of the day they don't have to get on with me but I don't have to get on with them. Growing up is realising that there are some people you will automatically click with, others you won't, some people will work their butts off, others are happy letting other people get them to where they want to be, some people you'll have banter with and others you simply won't. The world of work so far has been a funny one. But I'm so over the moon to be a part of it.

Quieter days get me thinking... we spend our day trying to please others but the one person we're probably not always pleasing is ourselves. I'm not saying be utterly selfish. Look at situations from other people's point of view but don't go through life constantly seeking approval because at the end of the day the only approval you really need to seek is your own. You have your own mind, your own opinions, your own personality, you are an individual and that's great embrace it! Be happy to be you! Yes other people may be doing more exciting things with their lives but that doesn't mean that their version of happiness is the same as yours. Sometimes you've just got to accept things will happen if they're going to happen whether you like it or not, worrying about situations isn't going to change the inevitable instead will only put you through something twice. You have a decision to make when you wake up in the morning, you can either run straight ahead and never look back, grabbing opportunities with both hands or you can constantly go round on loop, never getting anywhere new. 
You choose.

Knowing who is worth your love and who isn't is priceless, family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends. You decide. I am a firm believer in that people come into your life for a reason and others leave for a reason. But to achieve happiness with yourself can only come from within. The people we meet teach us lessons about others and most importantly about ourselves but it's how we use these situations that make us grow. So quit worrying about the possibilities of tomorrow and focus on the here & now. Maybe that's what happiness really is after all... 


Pictures: Pinterest.

Monday, 16 July 2018

Summer on the up..

I'm back! 
(Well just about)

It's been almost a month since I wrote my selfish or what post, where you may remember me saying how determined I was to make this Summer my best yet. A month later I'm here to catch up because gut instincts tell me I may have been right after all....

First up let's begin with my YouTube... so yeh I said I wanted to put time into it this holiday and so far I've filmed about 2 videos. Don't get me wrong my love for filming and YouTube is still there but it just felt like the past month has been a lot more hectic than planned and it got to the point where I didn't want my downtime to be spent online. So that's taking a back seat for the meantime anyway, I am still going to be uploading this summer but when I feel like it not so much because I have too. Probably not the best plan in the world when your trying to grow an audience but it's what feels right and I have to go with that. I don't want to miss out on fun times in the sun just because I'm devoting my summer to a dream that may not go anywhere. Although Instagram wise my creative account is becoming much more fashion/ outfit based which is exciting and I've actually been approached by a few brands about working with them. Not entirely sure where these will take me yet or even if they will actually happen but watch this space....

Okay let's talk internships.... mannnnn they are DAMN hard to get. You may remember a few posts back I said something on this front may be about to change and truth is I didn't get it. It was an amazing opportunity at SkinnyDip and not going to lie I did feel somewhat disheartened about not being successful but obviously it wasn't meant to be. It was a great opportunity to interact with SkinnyDip through the interview process and I have definitely learnt lessons from this situation. In hindsight it's probably best it didn't work out because the position was marketing based- an aspect of my course I'd rather not venture down so it clearly wasn't right for me. And how on earth I ever thought it'd be possible for me to fund myself living in London for summer is beyond me! Still I've got my foot in the door with them and they said to keep in touch as well, so I'm going to take nothing but positives from it. Following on from this I've been in touch with the BBC and my local newspaper, the Leicester Mercury about possibly doing some experience with them which I'm hopeful should work out. I'm hoping to chat to MTV too because not only would that be a great place to intern but as I'd like to look down the music video route for my dissertation it would be highly valuable. 

On to the next thing...

Apparently I am now an *official* adult, I've turned 18, turned 20 so next up on the big birthdays front was my 21st... yes shocker of the year me and my unbelievable babyface are actually now 21. How mad is that hey? I had an amazing day in London having afternoon tea at my place of dreams, Sketch. I've followed that place for so long on social medias and to say I've actually been is slightly unreal. It blew me (and my dads wallet) away. Honestly I couldn't have asked for anything better- a beautiful day, with beautiful people in a beautiful place. I was a very happy girl (well still am to be honest). Present wise I'm not one to brag about what I got but I got some really, lovely thoughtful, keepsake gifts that I hope to treasure for years to come. Then on the 14th July, a few days after my birthday, I caught up with a couple of close friends over a pizza and a long awaited trip to the cinema to see Incredibles 2. I don't want to give any spoilers away but it was well worth the 14 year wait for the sequel and a perfect way to round up my 21st celebrations. 

Speaking of cinemas... so umm I am now an employed person at my local Odeon!!!!! Yes that number of exclamation marks were needed because I AM OVER THE MOON. Not only have I always wanted to work in a cinema but I finally got a job, like an actual job- somebody pinch me! I had my trial shift yesterday and it went so much better than I imagined it could, the staff are super friendly so far! And even more surprising I didn't feel too nervous, like I was shaking walking through those doors yesterday but an hour in it just felt natural you know. Weird story actually to how I came to applying there... so I actually got a job a few weeks back at my local nightclub, went for a shift there and realised that the hours simply were not for me, not getting to bed till 5/6am is not the life I wanted to lead. So after waking up the following morning feeling depressed and tearful about the fact that I was back to square one again with the job hunt, I began my hunt on where I saw the cinema vacancy pop up and the rest well is history. It's just so weird because if I had never applied to the nightclub & done a shift there then I would never have looked at indeed when I did so I would never have heard about the cinema opening. I am a believer in fate and I can't help but feel this cinema job was meant to be. Crazy! Opportunities really do come along when you least expect it. 

So that's about it... and I've still got 2 and half months of summer left! 
I would be lying if I said I wasn't still nervous about my job at the cinema, like I think it'll take me a good week or so to comfortably find my feet but I'm just so happy I got it. Can't shake the smile off. Not that sure if the rest of my summer will be all that exciting but hopefully work will go well and I still potentially have our family holiday to look forward to- at the minute it's between Mexico & Jamaica so let's just see where summer takes me. 
I am going to do research for my dissertation and go to a few relevant exhibitions in August as well which I'm excited for. 

So who knows how the rest of my summer will pan out but what I do know is maybe I was right after all...

Speak soon


Pictures- are all my own 

Thursday, 28 June 2018


Sorry I haven't been as regular on here as I said I would be, it's been a busy last week, what with my Dad's birthday, interviews for potential summer work & internship roles, I didn't have the spare time to sit down and write. The only thing that remains consistent in my life at the minute is Love Island, and I'm living for Tuesday's night episode- the non stop drama had me glued to my TV screen! 

YouTube wise it's going well, I'm loving it and I'm actually really enjoying being more chatty on my videos, my channel is never gonna be as exciting as other channels out there but I'm really proud of it. I'm producing content that I'm loving creating even if my laptop does keep telling me it has a lack of storage because of all the filming clips- it's driving me crazy! 
Over the next few weeks I'm hoping to do a Q&A video & a lookbook which is exciting! My last vid is about my uni experience so far, surprisingly I loved talking all about it, don't think I've ever felt so honest in a video before, so I'll probably do some more uni related videos too.
I'll leave it below if you want to check it out: 

Today I thought I'd chat about summer style, in particular the looks I'm loving right now and what I'm hoping to somehow pull off this year. so lets get cracking...

Before we begin I just thought I'd talk about our personal style icons.
Everyone has someone that they look to for style inspo whether that's a celebrity or a friend, I'm always bouncing new style ideas around in my mind picked up from people all around me. Instagram & Pinterest are great tools to see what works as well. Personally a style icon of mine is Ella Eyre, not only have I long time been obsessed with her music but I adore her style. Honestly everything she wears I wish would somehow magic itself into my wardrobe! I feel Ella knows who she is when it comes to her style, it's a bit quirky, on trend but in an unconventional way and she likes to push boundaries. I would say that sums up what I know of her & her music. Another person I love to follow is Ann-Marie, another girl with great style in my eyes!

Summer this year I want to wear the clothes I love! Coming home from uni for summer break, I've had a massive clear out of all the rubbish that I no longer like to wear or is too big for me now- those gym days are finally paying off!
So let's see what looks I'm going for this summer break, shall we?


I've loved t-shirt dresses for a LONG time, they're just so casual, so cool and so effortless. You can literally just throw one on and you're good to go! Over the last year or so I've collected a few really cool ones which I'm hoping to rock with my vans this summer. I'm hoping to local checkout vintage stores for a bit more unusual ones too! Btw mens t-shirts make the perfect dress. 

If you haven't already guessed by now my style is a bit quirky, I hate the ordinary, don't get me wrong it looks great on others but I like pushing boundaries with my style. Studying fashion I'm very aware of trends but I wouldn't really say I follow them, I wear things because I love them not because they're 'in' right now. I'm definitely not afraid to stand out when it comes to fashion. 


Now hear me out before you judge here please.
I'm a fan of the grunge trend just because it's cool and quite funky. Don't get me wrong I love colour but I am a lover of black also. I think this will be more my style towards the end of summer because those fishnet suntan lines are not the one for me haha. I think I'll try making it a bit less dark which will be my take on the trend.


Crop tees and sweatshirts are a bit of me! Especially cropped sweaters, because the British summer is never that reliable so a jumper will keep you covered when the weather unexpectedly changes. Plus when you're like me and you don't like showing off your entire body it keeps you a bit more covered when wearing shorts or skirts. I think crop tees are really fun and something that can be super cheap and playful, you could even DIY your own designs onto your old tees to give them a new refresh. 


I'm a sucker for bold, 'in your face' trousers. Personally I feel more comfortable in trousers than skirts/shorts just because you can show off your figure in the right pair but it's nothing too revealing if you get me. They just make me feel good, like I can conquer anything. Recently I've really gone off jeans completely, nowadays if I have to wear jeans they tend to be mom style- I'm actually desperate for a black pair. Flares, wide leg, joggers, culotte trousers are SO much more comfortable- why would I opt for jeans when I can be living life in style AND comfort with a pair of joggers?

I need to know where these checkerboard trousers below are from!!!!
They are so freaking cool.


Bit of a weird one but I'm lover of socks all year round. Maybe it's that Stance uni project rubbing off on me but lately I've really started wanting to make how I wear my socks that bit more interesting and quirky. I am loving the socks and trainers trend going around at the minute, not everyone's a fan I know but I like seeing socks beyond the top of the shoe. Don't hate on me but I am sucker for the socks and sliders trend as well!


My day to day clothes are far from ordinary so why would you ever think my swimsuits wouldn't be? Previous years I've tended to wear the same swimsuits year after year, but coming home for this summer break I was a little shocked to find all my swimwear too big for me. So I've been gradually investing in 3 really good but quirky, swimsuits which should last a few years to come (especially if travelling is potentially on the cards after uni). So far I've got 2, one from Zara and the other from Warehouse, I've got my sights on one from ASOS but it's currently still out of stock unfortunately for me but I'm hopeful. So please can we all pray I get the swimsuit of my dreams!

Hope you all enjoyed this post, I'm obsessed with these looks. I'd love to hear what looks you're loving right now and into the summer months ahead! At some point I'm hoping to do a styling/ lookbook video on my YouTube channel so subscribe to make sure you don't miss that. 

Love you all lots & enjoy this fabulous summer weather we've got atm- ahhhh it's bliss.

Images: Pinterest & Instagram 
Video: LippieTalk
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