FASHION. BEAUTY. LIFESTYLE. an indecisive girl's life

Thursday, 16 November 2017

No F**** Given

So I'm sat here in the library between seminars just attempting to do yet more sketchbook work even though the only thing I really want & need to do right now is to sleep for about a week. Uni is hard! There's a tweet going round at the minute, you may have seen it already but it basically says 'don't let the snaps lie to you, at uni you actually have to do work'. And oh boy that's very true. 

Truth is I'm on a full time course yet do I treat my course like it's full time? most definitely not. You see it's hard to get motivated when all you want to do with your day is eat, sleep and play Mario kart  (who even am I?). Then if you're anything like me you get stressed about the fact you've got practically no work to show for the last 2 months of being at uni and you procrastinate even more leaving you feeling yet more stressed. Motivation is a hard thing to find and keep hold of. Yes time off away from your studies is important because otherwise by the end of the 3 or more years you'll probably have grown to hate the subject you once loved. But I do think it's important to be that proactive student who is constantly thinking about what they can do with this brief or where they can take that sketchbook, or reading that book even though it's not required. At the end of the day that's what is going to help you grow and improve as a person. 

Basically this morning I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, I was stressed about what feels like a million and one deadlines I've got coming up, I was stressed about the fact that although I'm happy with my work it's not progressing as quickly as I'd like it too and I was stressing about the fact that nothing ever feels like it goes right for me. Not even joking I had to fight back the tears and the urge to just say you know what I quit, because lately that's all I've wanted to do. 

Pin Commandment #5 – Cut the Crap. Soft enamel pin 25mm at the widest point.

Walking out of my seminar about an hour ago I felt like a different person, I felt I'd cleared my head (well almost), having gotten past the breakdown stage and it made me realise something. Sometimes in life it's not good to act like you give no fucks when indeed you actually do. Not acting like you give any fucks could make you miss out on the one thing you actually give a fuck about. Ironically our subculture trend runs along the idea of self expression and showing you don't given a fuck which is great and it's a really cool subculture to look into. Put into perspective though is it really the way forward? I give a fuck about a lot of things, some I happily share and talk about, others I don't because the fear of saying I actually give a fuck feels too much to handle sometimes. When you really care about something it's even harder when it doesn't go your own way so acting like you don't give a fuck almost protects you from the fall. 

Anyway I feel like that was a very random post and I'm sorry if your sat reading this thinking what the fuck (lol the irony) am I talking about. If you can relate then I hoped it helped in some way. 

Talk soon. 



Sunday, 12 November 2017

Who Am I?

Okay so the whole 'new year, new me' being a consistent blogger lasted all of about 2 weeks, let's be honest I think I was being quite optimistic with that one anyway. Still today I'm back with a new post... it's a bit of strange one purely because you'd have thought that by the age of 20 I'd certainly know who I am. The truth is when faced with the question on my course this week I didn't really know how to answer...

So I'll give you the context around the question so it doesn't seem quite so strange, those who have been reading my blog a while will know that I'm a 2nd year FCP student at NTU- whilst second year is fun and exciting it's so much more work & stress and honestly right now I'm struggling. We currently have two on going projects running alongside each other; identity (based around a chosen subculture) and self-promotion which is probably even harder as it's based around 'you'. I was that naive person who thought 'oh yeh that'll be so easy to do a sketchbook on yourself' oh boy I generally couldn't have been more wrong. Not even joking every time I go to do some self promotion work, I probably waste about half an hour or more just sitting there thinking 'who the heck am I?' like some crazy, mad person.

It's hard to say what your good at and what career you should do because at the end of the day you don't want to be 'that' person who has a head bigger than the doorframe. Yes I enjoy art but I don't want to be an artist, yes I enjoy shopping but I don't want to be a stylist, even this blog yes I enjoy it but is aiming to become a blogger just going to end in a disaster? Let's face it, it's probably a lot easier to say what we don't want to do than to make up our minds on what we actually want.

Laying all my cards down on the table I don't know where I want this degree to take me, I don't know what career I want at the end of it all. I want something which is exciting, that makes me want to jump up out of bed each morning because I actually want to look forward to going to work. I want to share my opinions but maybe not in the public speaking way. I want to travel the world but at the same time will I ever have the funds to go backpacking for a year? In a weird way yes I do feel like I'm ready to leave education and go into the world of work. But that's very hard when you don't even know where to start. The fact that at Christmas I'll be officially half way through my degree is terrifying, the uni bubble feels safe and secure, even if I am poor 90% of the time.

So I may not know exactly what I want to do quite just yet, what I do know that right now I want this blog to be a part of it. Blogging has been the only thing that ever felt 'right' if you get me, I enjoy it so much more than I can put into words. The only thing holding me back is the fact there are so many amazing, successful bloggers in the world, is there really room for one more?
I need to find my 'niche' hopefully this self- promotion brief will help me to do exactly that. I'll be sure to keep you all updated with my progress anyway.

So on a final note I'll leave you with this question:
Do you know who you are? 
See it's hard isn't it?
 We take all these lessons in life but in reality we need to learn about ourselves equally as much.

Take care & I'll speak soon, promise it won't be as long this time hopefully.


Photo credit: Own.

Monday, 16 October 2017

My kinda Type

Typography has always been something that has interested me, not quite sure why but I just find the fonts people use to represent themselves or their brand a really intriguing topic. Like what makes people want to write in capital letters or swirly lettering? What are they trying to say?

This week on my course we went on a mini field trip around Nottingham (well mainly the streets near the city campus), we were given the objective to take photographs of any typography that caught our eye on a range of levels (so up in the air, eye level & down on the ground). Surprisingly when you look around it's shocking just how many different types of type there is- ever since this activity I just can't stop noticing it. I guess that means the task got me brain really thinking about it. 

If you know me well then you'll know that right now I'm having a bit of a yellow obsession... well I think to say to say a bit would be an understatement really. So it's pretty obvious I was gonna be drawn towards these images below. 

It's weird because I've never noticed this tyre shop before yet I've walked down the road it's on so many times. For me this was the best find of the day I'm just obsessed with how it looks- it probably wasn't entirely planned out to look like this but I love the rustic feel to it. I don't know if the owners would allow it but I think it would be a really good shoot location- especially for fashion items. Images against the wooden walls or tyres would be very Instagram worthy. It's worth baring in mind anyway. 

Green or khaki never used to be a colour I was attracted towards simply because despite it looking great on others it's just not a colour I would ever reach to wear. I never would have thought about putting white on green though- definitely something I want to experiment further with in my sketchbook. This font type below makes me think military- maybe that's the green background coming through but the way the numbers have been printed with gaps makes it feel very regimented and formal. Like it's not a casual font- it's bold, in your face and makes you want to almost obey what it's saying. 

Normally when working I tend stick to black or other dark colours as my font colour simply because I think they're the colours that capture people's attention more. Boy how wrong I was. Bright colours such as red and pink or even yellow (sorry) with black make a eye catching combination worthy of a little mention. I think when it comes round to creating my business cards as part of the self promotion   project later on this semester I want to try and not use black font just because I feel it's very standard and business cards need to represent you as a person- a standard font colour doesn't represent me. 

I know we're on the topic of type but I want to quickly talk about illustrations, I have been always been a creative person, there was time back in high school where I wanted to become an illustrator. Over recent years though I kinda lost sight of my passion for it, this year I want to get back to doing more of it- I'm going to try and set myself the task of doing 3/4 quick illustrations a week drawing everything and anything that grabs my attention. 

The irony of Peel Street peeling away *haha

Hope you've enjoyed this post. 
What are your thoughts on typography? Is it something you notice?
Surely you must have thought about it at some point simply because it's all around us- it's unlikely you won't come across any form of typography every day of your lives. Even your phone font has been carefully considered...

Take Care & I'll see you all soon.


Image Credit: Own.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

Better the second time round

Welcome back!

Second year is now is full flow again, I've got 3 briefs to complete, numerous sketchbooks and a whole lot of catching up to do. Summer was fab don't get me wrong but it feels great to be back in a routine again- I've even been managing to keep up with my gym schedule although I did skip it today to write this but let's not think about that. 

Honestly I think I forgot how much I loved being at uni over the summer- obviously I do miss home home but right now Nottingham feels the right place to be. Although if my dog could become the 7th member of our house then that would be the cherry on top of the cake.

So far second year in my opinion couldn't get any better- I love living in our house which is approximately 8 minutes from the main campus (dreams do come true), the suspected ghost seems to have vanished and just generally I feel so happy right now. Definitely feel I choose the right people to live with, I know people who fell out with their housemates barely even a week in so I'm SO glad that not us- we're just one happy little uni family.

Not gonna lie the clubbing scene doesn't quite feel the same, maybe because I'm old lol & am starting to get over the effort that goes into going out clubbing. Kinda want to try more bars this year but nevertheless I still enjoy a good old SU night out. Although an hour and a half queue for Ocean to not even get in is not the one for me. 

Course wise I've fallen back in love with what I signed up for. I feel motivated, excited and just generally a lot more interested than I was last year. Having been given the briefs for the first part of second year I'm super looking forward to working with new people, try new things and overcoming new challenges. It's only two weeks in and I've already overcome probably my biggest fear: approaching people in the street to interview. I'd like to think I'm a friendly, approachable person but the thought of going up to someone and asking about their style is one scary prospect. Still somehow on a recent field trip to London I over came it and actually it wasn't as scary as I thought- even more surprising but I actually found myself enjoying chatting to people. 

So you could say that life feels good right now. I don't what it is but I just feel in a good place. Feel like this year is going to be a good year even if I did start it off dropping my phone down the toilet resulting in me having to pay £350 back to my dad but even that can't shadow my mood right now (Well maybe it can a little).

Blog wise I am really gonna try to keep to a schedule which will be hard especially now it's no longer a requirement of my course (probably the second most heartbreaking thing I've heard since being back after my phone of course). My days off are Monday & Wednesday so I think posts on Monday & another day in the week will be achievable- I haven't decided if that day should be Thursday or Friday yet.

Before I go...
As of today I now have a creative instagram account: fash10n_lyfe 
I still have my personal one but this one will be everything fashion & FCP based, it's kinda a requirement for this year but if you fancy seeing more of what I do then give it a little follow.

What's been going on in your lives?

Take care & I'll see you all very soon.


Image credit: Own

Saturday, 7 October 2017

Ambitions N Dreams

In life even if you don't say you do, we ALL have ambitions and dreams, whether we know where we want to be next week or in 5 years, big or small we all have our own ambitions. 5 years time sounds like a long way off but in reality everything your doing at this moment in time will influence where you are likely to be in the future.
Not to like scare you or anything... 

I have always been an ambitious person, maybe slightly too ambitious sometimes. But I really do believe in the saying 'if you can dream it, you can do it', I wouldn't say I live my life by that saying or anything but it is something that sticks with me everyday. Growing up though dreams change, pretty much every person I know dreamt of being a singer or a vet at some point of their childhood... but as you grow your dreams alter and grow too. Maybe you've given up on that dream of being a world famous singer or maybe you don't want to be a vet anymore but the thought of having a house full of dogs is still very appealing (it is for me anyway).

I would say some of my dreams have change but some still haven't. I still believe in myself that I can make my first million- maybe not by the time I'm 21 like I've always dreamed of but it's still something I want to achieve. Sometimes we've got to be a bit flexible with our dreams because dreams don't work quite the same way in reality. For starters there are a lot more bumps in the road, whilst some people may dread these 'bumps', I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason, people walk in and walk out of your life for a reason. It's all meant to be. Whilst some of you reading this may find that quite a naive way of looking at life but that's just how I do look at it. I saw a tweet this morning which I guess is what inspired me to write this post, it said something along the lines of 'if someone's meant to be in your life then they will come back into it, if they don't then they weren't meant to be in it to begin with'. 

I want people to share their dreams more with people because we really should support each other, no dream is ever unachievable. We only stop believing in ourselves not our dreams. 

Personally I have three big dreams in life: one to move to another country- growing up this country was always America and it probably still is, it sounds kinda stupid but I do really believe America is somewhere I'm meant to live. Secondly maybe over optimistic but I really want this blog to go far- maybe into even YouTube, I know there are so many bloggers out there but this blog for me is my biggest achievement. Finally, this is a dream I haven't shared with many people but I really want to build my own business, the thought of working for other people just doesn't appeal to me. I'm not saying working for other people isn't something I won't do but ultimately I want to be my own boss, I want to work for myself with a team of people who all see themselves as equal to one another. Perhaps most importantly I want to see the world whilst doing all of this. That for me is my biggest dream, I want to be able to say I've visited that place or I've worked in that community, I just want to experience the adventure of learning to love when you don't have much .
(lol that's me as a student really) 

I know this wasn't a very long post today but I really hope it gave you some 'food for thought', as second year approaches it feels at times like the future is coming quick and fast sometimes it just helps to say out loud what it is exactly you want to achieve. Saying it sometimes is all the motivation you need and hey if you don't achieve the full dream then it's better to achieve half a dream then to give up before you've even tried. You will never hear someone say 'I regret trying that'- you won't know until you've tried it after all.

See you all soon.


Image credit: Google 

Monday, 2 October 2017

Music Feels

Just a quick post on some tunes I have been playing non stop recently. 
I never use to be a massive fan of music (I know weird right?) like fair enough i listened to what I liked but it didn't ever give me the feels you get from playing music. Summer has got me l o v i n g it, like I actually think the sound of silence scares me now! Whenever there isn't any tv on, my music goes straight on. I can't bare to be without it, I think ever since I got some new headphones and a speaker for my birthday back in July, I have been obsessed! 

Don't be so hard on yourself Jess Glynne.
Okay I have to admit I know this song has been around a few years now but come on even you've got to admit it's a tune! At the start of summer I had my music on shuffle and this came on- I have been loving it ever since... It's just such a good, Summer vibes tune! And the lyrics are pretty right too, because we should all stop being so hard on ourselves, life has enough tough times on it's own- you are in charge of your own happiness so make it happen.

Ego Ella Eyre.
When this song came out I tweeted just how obsessed I was with it and Ella Eyre actually favourited MY tweet!!!! OMG I majorly fangirled, I can't even deny it. Ella Eyre is one of my most favourites female artist's, I just love her, I love her style and most importantly I love her music. Honestly I don't think there's been a song that she's done, that I don't like- not a single song! If you haven't heard it yet then pls give it a listen because this was my song of the Summer.

Bad at love Halsey. 
I like this song ironically partly because I am bad at love so lol it really means something to me. But I do really love this song- Halsey was of the artists I saw a Reading and honestly I have been loving her ever since. I am slightly shocked by the fact she's my age and can sing this well! I don't know what it is about her music, normally I wouldn't have thought it's my style but lately I just can't get enough of it.

Strange Love Halsey. 
Yes another Halsey song, what can I say? I probably shouldn't like a song for this reason but I do really love the album cover, it's very vintage but I like it. Strange Love is probably my favourite song of hers, just because it feels so 'real'- I can't really explain it but listening to this song makes me feel vibes I've never felt before. When I listen to it with my eyes closed, it takes me right back to Reading every time, so I know it's going to hold a special place in my heart for a long time to come.

Reggaeton Lento Little Mix.
This really was this Summer of Spanish music and I LOVED it! When Despacito came out a few months back I fell in love the second I heard it but personally I think I slightly over played it because now it feels too basic, don't get me wrong I still like the song just not as much as I did. lol I saw this tweet saying 'I don't know what gets played more me or despacito'... don't worry I could relate too. When Little Mix announced Reggaeton Lento (yes I struggle to spell it too) I was over the moon! I love Little Mix and Spanish music so combined it was hawttttt!

I know this has been a different type of post today, it's just music has been a massive part of Summer this year and felt I needed to blog about it. I'm so happy my blogging schedule is staying on track, the key? Blog in advance always- I was thinking about doing a blogging tips post over the next few weeks. Let me know if that's something you'd like to see. Back to uni means they'll probably be more fashion/ FCP posts than lifestyle & beauty but I am going to try to keep a balance between them all.

Just realised it's all female artists above- no shade to male artists or anything. I have loads of male artists I love to listen to but for me the girls have been killing the game lately. 

Hope you enjoyed the post.
What's been your song of the Summer?
Let me know in the comments below.


Photo Credit: Google.

Friday, 29 September 2017

Too good at goodbye

University is probably the biggest learning journey you will ever go on in your life. 
What I didn't expect uni to teach me is about fake friends....

Going through school I would say I always had a good group of friends, fair enough it wasn't a huge group but I do believe it's better to have a small group of close friends over a large group of friends you're not that close to. Especially sixth form for me was that time when I found the friends I really thought I'd remain friends with for life- or so I thought anyway.

I know I stay this all the time but university has changed me, I'd say it changes everyone. Out of my group of friends 3 went to uni out of 5, the other 2 went into full time work which was something they always wanted to do. And fair enough for a short period of time we all stayed friends, made the effort to meet up & talked on our group chat.

I would say we probably kept that up until this summer. If I'm honest I kinda knew it was coming... we had been drifting apart for a while and even when we did manage to find a time when we were all free, conversation wasn't the same, we were all at different stages of our lives- one of my friends has even recently got engaged! Obviously I'm over the moon with happiness for her but that just shows how much we've become different people. lol I still drink juice out of cartoons in the morning that just goes to show how immature I am.

Even though I knew it was coming it still makes me sad. It's weird to think 2 years ago I thought these were the people who were gonna stay in my life for several years yet here I am 2 years later saying goodbye. I've kept close friends with one friend out of the group though, she know who she is and if I'm honest I know we'll stay friends for many years to come. Just because we can go months without seeing each other but then when we meet up it's honestly like no time has past at all.
Friends like that are irreplaceable.

I guess the point of this post is learning to say goodbye to 'fake friends', these are the type of friends who don't make the effort with you, talk behind your back and aren't bothered if they go weeks without seeing you. It's weird the people I've become friends with at uni, I'm SO much closer to than most of my home friends, yet I didn't know these people a year ago! I think it would be harder to say goodbye to uni friends then it would to the majority of my home friends. I guess you bond differently, you know everything there is to know about each other. Whereas home friends would rarely see me without makeup, I would never have had an emotional breakdown in toilet cubicle with them and I don't even think I'd have shared my deepest of secrets with them through fear of judgement.

I want to make a point clear though, I am in no way shape or form throwing shade at anyone in particular- I'm just talking generally because it felt like something I needed to get off my chest. I get that everyone grows up, everyone changes, whether you're at uni or not. People change I totally get that and that's fine. But recently it felt like I've just got too good at saying goodbye, I know when the effort isn't two sided it's hard and really is it even worth your time? Should we waste time & hours of laughter on people who don't want to know?

When you;re a child no one tells you how hard being an adult is. Growing up is exciting but at the same time it's scary- it throws you out of your comfort zone when you least expect it. Everything you knew & loved isn't the same. When this happens all you've got to do is just accept it.
Accepting this has probably been a memorable point of summer. You shouldn't feel guilty just accept, sometimes it may be your fault the friendship ended but most of the time it'll be mutual- if people don't want to know, then they won't- you can't force it. Sometimes in life you've just got to accept it and move on. When one door closes another door may just be about to open. Embrace it!

Have you ever struggled with keeping a friendship?

Lots of love.


Image credit: Own 
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