Welcome back!
I know it's been a crazy long time since I last blogged, I think my last post must have been the one about going to Berlin which is madness because it's been like 2 weeks since I got back from there. Then what with deadlines causing me to hibernate away from anything remotely fun for an entire week and going home straight after it just felt like I needed some time to breathe. Life got a bit crazy, Not going to lie the stress of coursework made me need a week just to do absolutely nothing.
I'm now back at uni still with another week til any lectures or seminars but I'm hoping to spend this week productively sorting my life out. That means planning and organising the whole blogging lifestyle, filming/ uploading YouTube videos, getting my butt back to the gym because it's now February before you know it, it's gonna be Summer before we know it and most importantly get somehow ahead of my next semester of work. In all honesty the only thing I really want and need right now is a holiday somewhere hot and sunny, where I can be sat on a beach, Pina colada in one hand and a good book in the other. In reality though that's not and probably won't be my life for a good 6 months yet, I don't understand how I am so physically drained of this year when it's only February 5th, like how is that even possible?!?
Berlin as you're probably eager to know was great! Not sure I'd visit again just because I don't know it didn't feel like as a city it was my vibe, I'm a NYC gal at heart and I seriously don't think that is going to change anytime soon. Still I'm glad I went and saw the sights, not only that but to be there in the midst of Berlin Fashion Week was honestly a dream come true. It actually made me feel quite emotional to be honest, to think that could be the first of what will hopefully be many fashion weeks to come made me a teary-eyed mess, maybe it's my hormones playing up who knows, that kinda stuff doesn't usually get me. But you know that feeling you get when you want something so bad it physically hurts, yeh that's me, as a 'Greatest Showman' fanatic if you didn't know already, the millions dreams song gets me every single time, I'm a massive believer in 'if you believe you can then you will' so stuff about what will hopefully be my future career just makes me tear up. Fashion has probably been the only thing I've ever really enjoyed, I'd like to think I'm good at it but most importantly I want it to do amazing things for me.
Back to Berlin, I'd 100% recommend going to see the city, overall I'd say it was having a lot of renovation done to it but all the same it was amazing to experience a new way of life. I personally loved the Reichstag building tour which was free and quite literally took my breathe away, going up in the dome and looking across the entire city from 360 degree angles was mind blowing. It wasn't like anything I've ever experienced before, it was different to the London Eye or the Empire State it was just magical. I also really appreciated the Jewish memorial, obviously it was extremely sad but it made me just feel the event so much more, it's hard to explain but having been to the memorial just makes me have so much more empathy for the whole thing now. Of course I knew it was a horrific event before I went but it just opened my eyes up to the scale of things- it's the type of thing I will never forget.
Trade show wise by far the Bright & Seek ones were my favourite, okay so they were completely irrelevant to the research needed for my next assignment but personal style wise they were a bit of me. Growing up I was that girl with a skateboard so really it's no surprise that the fashion event with it's own skate ramps was going to be my cup of tea. I actually vlogged my whole Berlin trip which was nerve racking but exciting so I'll leave that below.
Deadline wise I don't think I've ever felt more stressed, not joking I finished my work about 9 hours before the official deadline. That week quite literally killed me off, I still think I'm catching up on sleep from it now which is mad. In the end as bad as this is going to sound I didn't care anymore I just wanted it over with. I think that was partly why I regretted going Berlin, that extra week was just what I needed but didn't get to have. Still it's over now, it is what it is. I put my heart and soul into it but in the end I was just like why? Yes obviously I want a good grade for my personal goals but when it comes down to it second year on my course doesn't count for any percentage of my final degree- the whole thing is just a learning curve.
Getting my life back on track...
Having recovered from all that stress I am now ready to get back to it, those internships won't find themselves if only it was the easy. I think the biggest lesson I learnt from last semester was that organisation is something I really need to improve on, yes I can manage my blog, YouTube, group projects, individual projects, internship searching, gym going and a social life if I use my time effectively. Sleeping in all day and binge watching Netflix is not effective for me, don't get me wrong down time is important of course it is but I keep seeing this same tweet everywhere I go "Work hard now, your future self will thank you for it" and I think it's trying tell me something. I know deep down that what I'm doing at the minute, myself in 5 years time would not be grateful for, yet if I just dedicated my time more evenly I would be happy with myself. I've decided it's not about what or how or even where other people are going, it's about me- you can't drive forward in a straight line if your constantly staring at other people's lanes either side of you.
So I guess the whole new year, new me thing starts now, February 5th 2018, I'm saying I will be better, a better version of myself because I'm tired and unhappy with my life decisions I guess I'm just a little bit too indecisive for my liking. From this point that is going to change.
Starting with a regular blogging schedule- see you Friday (well tomorrow on my YouTube)
XOX
Images are all my own
No comments
Post a Comment