So Thursday I did a thing... roller skating, which if you know me well by now- you'll know that I have no sense of balance what so ever so it's probably not the best activity in the world for me.
Okay no surprise I was definitely no expert in fact I was a pretty terrible beginner, safe to say that the whole skating thing is something I'm not born to do. Which is surprising especially considering this was not my first time and I grew up with my skateboard. I guess all along knew I wasn't going to be a pro, but the whole reason I went was because it was fun and sometimes laughing at yourself & how
bad you are at something is needed. Not only that but it helped me to overcome this massive fear I have of falling over on the skates (yes I did fall over but only once), my legs were shaking, my hands were a clammy mess and my heart was close to a heart attack many times. But I'm bloody proud I did it- I'd even go as far as saying I'd go again.
This whole post isn't going to be about roller skating, don't worry if that's not your cup of tea then I won't bore you all with that. The point of this post... yes Gemma get on with it... is that sometimes the things you fear the most don't actually turn out to be that bad. Roller skating was something I've done
many times before but the last time I went back home I fell over and it just really freaked me, from that moment on I'd basically said no not again and here I am a few years later a changed women. I think no amount of times I go this fear will be still be there but I want to squish it into a little ball of nothing rather than letting it take over me, at the end of the day 2018 was going to be year of me
saying you know what screw it even if I look a fool then I'm going to try it anyway.
Life's too short to not give things a shot.
I don't know what's happening to me lately, I've pushed myself further out of my comfort zone already this year then I did the entire of 2017. First with the whole summer camp thing, now this, here's to a new me of saying yes! I have my first formative presentation of this semester on Friday and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't more than just a little bit nervous, it does get that little bit easier every time I do one but at the same time it doesn't. I think the more pressure I put on myself the more I fear failing, which is stupid because even if I did completely mess it up at the end of the day who cares? It's better to screw up and learn for next time then to not give it everything and risk not
looking interested at all.
We had a weird seminar last Thursday which basically involved us standing up the entire hour & half doing various bits of presenting- so really it was my idea of hell. No joke I could have probably ran out that room the second our lecturer started explaining the task but I didn't. Not only that but even though it doesn't count for anything I did my best presentation too! We had to speak for 30 seconds about something that we really loved, so naturally I did mine about Willow (my dog), it just amazed me how well I spoke about her, it didn't even feel like I was in a presentation, it just felt raw and from the heart- I even managed a smile which from someone who at the word 'presentation' her stomach flips is quite something. I don't know even though it sounded pointless it felt incredible- I want that feeling in every presentation I do! I think I may have just found my lucky charm- Willow... it also opened my eyes up to the fact that if you know a lot about your topic then it makes it so much easier to speak about which is true! Obviously I know Willow beyond well (I love her to pieces), after all she's more than just a dog to me so talking about her really isn't hard at all. But I get it now, presentation prep is the best possible thing you can do. I want to be that person who can happily and easily give a presentation well without reading completely from cards and giving no eye contact or stumbling over my words. I have improved so well but I'm still not at the level I want to be- slowly but surely I'm getting there. Someday I will be fear free in all presentations! That's my main goal.
Let me know what fears you want to overcome in the comments below. Because hey don't worry about them, we can overcome them all together!
XOX
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