University is probably the biggest learning journey you will ever go on in your life.
What I didn't expect uni to teach me is about fake friends....
Going through school I would say I always had a good group of friends, fair enough it wasn't a huge group but I do believe it's better to have a small group of close friends over a large group of friends you're not that close to. Especially sixth form for me was that time when I found the friends I really thought I'd remain friends with for life- or so I thought anyway.
I know I stay this all the time but university has changed me, I'd say it changes everyone. Out of my group of friends 3 went to uni out of 5, the other 2 went into full time work which was something they always wanted to do. And fair enough for a short period of time we all stayed friends, made the effort to meet up & talked on our group chat.
I would say we probably kept that up until this summer. If I'm honest I kinda knew it was coming... we had been drifting apart for a while and even when we did manage to find a time when we were all free, conversation wasn't the same, we were all at different stages of our lives- one of my friends has even recently got engaged! Obviously I'm over the moon with happiness for her but that just shows how much we've become different people. lol I still drink juice out of cartoons in the morning that just goes to show how immature I am.
Even though I knew it was coming it still makes me sad. It's weird to think 2 years ago I thought these were the people who were gonna stay in my life for several years yet here I am 2 years later saying goodbye. I've kept close friends with one friend out of the group though, she know who she is and if I'm honest I know we'll stay friends for many years to come. Just because we can go months without seeing each other but then when we meet up it's honestly like no time has past at all.
Friends like that are irreplaceable.
I guess the point of this post is learning to say goodbye to 'fake friends', these are the type of friends who don't make the effort with you, talk behind your back and aren't bothered if they go weeks without seeing you. It's weird the people I've become friends with at uni, I'm SO much closer to than most of my home friends, yet I didn't know these people a year ago! I think it would be harder to say goodbye to uni friends then it would to the majority of my home friends. I guess you bond differently, you know everything there is to know about each other. Whereas home friends would rarely see me without makeup, I would never have had an emotional breakdown in toilet cubicle with them and I don't even think I'd have shared my deepest of secrets with them through fear of judgement.
I want to make a point clear though, I am in no way shape or form throwing shade at anyone in particular- I'm just talking generally because it felt like something I needed to get off my chest. I get that everyone grows up, everyone changes, whether you're at uni or not. People change I totally get that and that's fine. But recently it felt like I've just got too good at saying goodbye, I know when the effort isn't two sided it's hard and really is it even worth your time? Should we waste time & hours of laughter on people who don't want to know?
When you;re a child no one tells you how hard being an adult is. Growing up is exciting but at the same time it's scary- it throws you out of your comfort zone when you least expect it. Everything you knew & loved isn't the same. When this happens all you've got to do is just accept it.
Accepting this has probably been a memorable point of summer. You shouldn't feel guilty just accept, sometimes it may be your fault the friendship ended but most of the time it'll be mutual- if people don't want to know, then they won't- you can't force it. Sometimes in life you've just got to accept it and move on. When one door closes another door may just be about to open. Embrace it!
Have you ever struggled with keeping a friendship?
Lots of love.
X
Image credit: Own
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