It's okay to admit it...


Welcome back!

Well it's been quite a while hasn't it? 
The last time I blogged was back at the beginning of June so I'm sorry for probably being the most inconsistent blogger ever. Truth is I just hit a wall when it came to blogging- I lost all my motivation & suddenly the thought of sitting down to write just didn't feel right. 

Since the last time we spoke I've officially finished first year (which I'm not going to lie I still find a little crazy), I moved back home, been on a mini break to Liverpool, found out I've passed first year & turned twenty. 
So I've been just a little bit busy...
All of which I'd love to blog more about over the upcoming days to help me get back on track.
If I'm honest life has felt a bit surreal recently, finishing first year really hit me hard- it's quite scary to think I'm already a third of the way through my degree. Still I'm so happy with my grade for first year, and it makes me so determined to squeeze every opportunity out of second year.  

Probably the biggest change I've experienced lately is turning twenty, the big 2 0! 
Personally I was dreading this birthday, partly because it's starting to daunt on me just how quickly I'm growing up and whilst I'm excited for the future, it's still scary to think you're not a teen anymore. I moan all the time to my parents that I feel old, normally they just laugh at me & tell me I'm being silly but seriously I'm closer to 30 than 10 now so it's scary stuff! 


The pass few weeks have made me realise a few things that I want to change about my life, not because I'm not happy with where it's going now, just because I feel it's about time I gave myself a 'reality check' (probably the most cheesiest American thing I've ever said)...

1. Stop having your glass half empty!
Literally & metaphorically because I probably should drink more water and less alcohol. But seriously I always look on the negative sides of every positive and it annoys even me. Take the whole turning 20 thing, I hated the fact I'm not a teenager anymore or that I'm pretty much an official adult now but actually this is the time when I can really try to make my dreams a reality! I'll let you all into a little secret, growing up I was an optimistic child to say the least, I'd always said that I'll earn my first million by the time I'm 21. Seeing as that's now next year and my job perspectives aren't looking hopeful for Summer, chances are that's probably not going to happen. But you never know- the only person standing in my way is myself...

2. Be more organised!
Honestly it's amazing I got the grade I did for first year because my focus wasn't at all on my degree, which is stupid & silly considering the cost and how much doing well could change my life in the future. Organisation went out the window with my motivation for the majority of the year. I lost sight of why I'm doing the course I'd been dreaming of since I was little! I was never someone who signed up to uni for the party life because a year ago that wasn't me. A year later that's a different story, I love my friends to pieces and I really value the fun times! Second year though things need to change... if I want to do well I need to strike more of balance.

3. Make the blogging thing work!
For 2/3 years now I've been doing a lil bit of the blogging 'thang' not because I had to but because I wanted too. Over these few years I had so many people tell me it will never come to anything & honestly that just makes me more determined to prove them wrong. Growing up I was that child who one minute wanted to be a Vet and the next a Fashion Designer, I was constantly swapping & changing my mind because truth is nothing ever felt right. I'm not saying blogging will be my career but right now it's what feels right and I'd be a fool to ignore that. 


4. Don't force it!
Relationships are another thing I'm always moaning to my parents about (I promise I'm not just constantly moaning to them!) partly because I thought I needed someone else to make my life complete. When really that's not the case, okay so it would be nice. But I love my life just the way it is right now, it's perfect for me without a boyfriend. After all you can't miss what you never had... frankly if it's going happen than it will, if it doesn't then it wasn't right- I'm done with forcing things. 

Starting from now, I'm going to put into life what I want to get out of it!
Meaning over the next few weeks you'll see some changes on here- hopefully for the better. 
It's good to be back- I've hoped you've enjoyed this post, I promise it won't be as long till the next one. 

Take care & I'll see you all very soon.
X


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